Season 1
Episode 14
Original air date: 14 February 1991
Ooh, is somebody going to fall for someone from the wrong side of the tracks? Let’s find out!
Brandon rides his bike home (ah yes, that’s right, still no car from the old DUI) and finds his parents whispering in the front room with another couple. He goes upstairs and asks Brenda what the deal is.
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She tells him they’re hosting a party for Chick Schneider.
“He’s like the king kahuna of beach fashion. He makes all those great wipe-out pants that Dylan always wears.”
Okay, so I couldn’t find out what wipeout pants are. The search results gave me some acid wash jeans, some parachute material shorts, and a bikini with ties on the sides. Maybe if you know someone who was a surfer in the 90s they can inform us.
Brandon asks what that has to do with Anna. I think that’s their housekeeper than I forgot about because we haven’t seen her for weeks. Brenda says maybe she’s catering the party but Brandon thinks she’s getting fired.
Jim calls them downstairs and introduces them to Anna’s cousin, Richard. He says that Anna has a niece who goes to a local school and is in trouble. Anna, who now apparently speaks English, says Carla is an A-student but things are terrible with the gangs and the drugs.
Jim says he wants to let Carla use their address, so that she can get into West Beverly. Brandon offers to show her around, but Richard says she doesn’t like to draw attention to herself.
David has moved on from harassing girls and is now trying to harass MC Hammer. He calls but the secretary won’t put him through, obviously. Another restraining order needed.
“I’m sorry, but David Silver is out there”
Correct, Donna. He should be in there. By there I mean jail.
Steve’s eyes bug out of his head like a cartoon character when he sees a pretty girl. Ah, this must be Anna’s niece. Dylan has also noticed her and Brenda slams her locker in his face when she realises that he is ogling Carla instead of listening to her talk about wipe out pants.
Carla pops into the newspaper room to ask for directions. Brandon is telling Andrea that the fax machine is down again. Geez, what are they paying a zillion dollars in school fees for if they can’t even get a working fax?
Brandon is heading to where Carla needs to go so he shows her the way. She seems very disinterested in listening to Brandon as he gushes about her aunt (who she says is more of a family friend) and offers to show her around.
Brandon realises that they’re sharing most of the same classes and is very excited about that. He warns Carla not to be put off at the other kids being competitive.
Looks like she has nothing to worry about, as shown by a montage of her being smart in different classes.
Brandon’s like I didn’t know you were a genius! Then tells her she’ll have no problem getting a college scholarship.
OH, YOU THINK I NEED A SCHOLARSHIP COZ I’M HISPANIC?
Brandon’s like um, I wasn’t being racist, nearly everyone could use a financial scholarship. He gets upset at her snapping at him and says he has to get to work. She is surprised that he has a job, he’s not like the other rich kids!
At The Peach Pit Brandon introduces Carla to the whole gang, who are all there for some reason. Kelly asks Brenda, ‘SO, SHE’S RELATED TO YOUR MAID?’ Brenda says ‘SHH, I’LL TELL YOU LATER’. Subtle. Donna is looking through a catalogue, and Brenda says she can pick anything she wants.
“Wow, these baggies are so trendoid”
Good to know, thanks Kelly.
I just paused and theres’s a blackboard menu in the background. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the 90s pricing:
Roast beef $4
Irish stew $3.25
Burger/Fries $3.50
Chicken Pot Pie $3.25
They are also offering pies: lemon, apple, berry, and coconut. And the soup de jour is potato, but none of those have prices.
Carla checks out the catalogue, she doesn’t know who Chick Schneider is but she loves the clothes. She makes eyes at Brandon and Steve tells him she is into him.
Brandon gives Carla a free thing, I think it’s a pie but it just looks like a plate of whipped cream. She exchanges looks with the Hispanic guys working in the kitchen. What, she can’t eat at the diner because she’s Hispanic?
Brandon drives her home and asks if this area is considered East L.A. She’s like WELL, IT’S NOT RODEO DRIVE. Alright, he was just asking, he doesn’t know the city very well.
It is DIFFERENT here. There’s a 98 cent store, and GRAFFITI. Brandon sees a bunch of guys jump off the end of a truck and asks Carla where they’re coming from.
“Work.”
“Where?”
Brandon, she doesn’t fucking know, she doesn’t know them?
But she explains that trucks come in the morning and pick random labourers. He asks who would hire someone off the street and she asks how do you think all those pools and tennis courts in Beverly Hills get built?
They pull up at the house and Brandon asks ‘This is where Anna lives?’ Carla asks if he was expecting a deluxe condo. She tells Brandon that him and his friends don’t appreciate what they have; their fancy school and safe classrooms. He says she’ll be able to do whatever she wants with her brains.
She tells him the guys at the Peach Pit were looking at her like she’s a traitor and he says Manuel and Pepe aren’t like that, they were probably looking at her because she’s a pretty girl. HE KNOWS THEIR NAMES, HE’S NOT RACIST, SEE?
Brandon says:
“I think a lot of this is in your head, because I don’t see it”
OH, OKAY. THE WHITE GUY DOESN’T SEE RACISM AND CLASS DISCRIMINATION SO IT MUST NOT EXIST.
She says he’s sweet but her life is complicated right now.
Carla heads inside and runs into Richard. She apologises for being late and he tells her to be careful. What’s going on here??
Brenda catches Brandon looking at himself in the mirror and is like uh oh he has love hearts in his eyes again.
He accuses Brenda of being racist, that she’d have an issue if he did go out with Carla. Brenda is offended, she is not racist.
Cindy is going over the menu with Anna, and she learns what tapas is. Ah, the 90s.
Brenda gives Jim the catalogue and the wish list. Cindy says Chick is so generous and Jim says he can afford to be.
Brandon asks Anna if Carla can get a ride with her in the mornings she works there, so Brandon can give her a ride and she wouldn’t have to get the bus. Maybe talk to Carla about it first, mate. He needs to learn to mind his own business.
David is trying to ring MC Hammer again. The secretary hangs up on him immediately. How did he even get that number?
Steve calls over to Scott, except he calls him Sam because he doesn’t know his name and doesn’t care to learn. Scott tells Steve that David wants MC Hammer to play at the prom. Steve’s like as if, and Scott’s like yeah, I know. I smell a prank in the works.
Andrea is wearing a cool two colour blazer today, I like it. She asks Brandon what his relationship to Carla is. She happened to see Carla’s file in the office and saw her address. Brandon tells her to forget it.
Andrea tells him to be careful, she doesn’t want her secret jeopardised. If someone’s out of district status is revealed it could start a chain reaction.
Brandon also tells her that he’s attracted to Carla and wants to get to know her. Andrea’s like ohh that’s not what I wanted to know, I just wanted to know her GPA. Sure, girl.
Brandon finds Carla in the hallway. He says he hasn’t seen her for days, she always dashes off at the end of class and he’s starting to get a complex. NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, BRANDON.
Brandon demands that she go out with him and she has to tell him she’s busy like four times but I still don’t think he took the hint.
He looks confused. WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?
Carla is waiting at the bus stop when Brandon drives up. Jesus christ dude, take a hint. You’re as bad as David. But Carla is charmed by his persistence and gets in the car.
I guess he got his car back after that DUI after all.
Brandon interrogates Carla about her old school but she doesn’t want to talk about it. He begs her for just one chance.
She asks him if he likes to dance.
Some very funky choreographed dancing is happening at the community rec centre and I feel like Brandon is about to embarrass himself.
They make their way into the middle of the choreographed dancers and start freestyling.
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Brandon drops her home, and is impressed with the view of the whole city. She says he has to see Olvera street, and he says *making eyes at her* that she’ll have to show him sometime. She says that can be arranged, and they make out.
BUT RICHARD IS WATCHING FROM THE STEPS. Ooh, she’s in trouble. For some reason.
Jim is doing sit ups in the bedroom while Cindy panics about the dinner party. Brenda pops in and tells them that the chairs have arrived. Jim tells her to get Brandon to help but he’s not home. Apparently he’s at work, and he was out late last night with Carla.
Cindy tells Jim that maybe they should tell the kids the truth about Carla. OMG WHAT IS THE TRUTH ABOUT CARLA?
Let’s guess!
Her family are drug dealers and she’s trying to keep safe
She’s famous in the latinx community and is trying to keep a low profile
She was in a gang and is trying to change her ways
Brandon turns up to Carla’s house with some MEXICAN pastries, because she’s MEXICAN. She says it’s not a good time. Richard rocks up and says that Carla doesn’t have time for breakfast today.
Brandon is working at The Peach Pit. Was he going to bring Carla here for breakfast? Like oh come have breakfast while I work, then either wait for me to finish or make your own way home? Damn it, Brandon.
Steve is having breakfast though, while Brandon tells him his concerns about Richard.
Dylan strolls in, he’s been surfing, of course. Steve says Dylan is wearing the shirt he ordered from Brenda’s catalogue. Dylan says he’s going to get some baggies tonight, if the party’s still on? Brandon’s like OF COURSE IT IS, it’s the social event of the season!
Baggies are just kind of normal shorts by the way, I Googled it.
Carla is at the Walsh house, looks like she’s working the event. Brandon asks how can she work there after last night? He tells Cindy that he doesn’t want Carla working here, it’s weird having friends serve him. She says he serves his friends at The Peach Pit all the time.
He says it’s different, that is a place of business, this is their house! He cracks it and says he’s not going to the party.
Brenda’s excited, the clothes arrived! They got stuff that’s not even in the catalogue yet.
“They are so rude. I love them”
Brenda tells Brandon that Cindy doesn’t know how he feels about Carla. She also knows that Jim and Cindy are lying about why they’re helping Carla but doesn’t know why.
Jim comes in and tells Brandon to BEHAVE. Chick Schneider is the first gold star client he’s got in California, so BE GOOD.
Brandon puts on his most clean-cut sweater and greets all the guests. The party is going off. Lots of neon outfits care of Chick Schneider.
Chick Schneider is a bit of a creep though, who makes a gross comment about wanting to drink margaritas in the dark with Carla. Luckily he said this as she walked away and not to her face, but ew.
Brandon asks Carla if she can help bring some chairs downstairs from his parents’ room. He takes her up to his room instead. You sly dog. LET HER DO HER WORK.
Anna sees Carla coming downstairs and confronts her. She says Richard told her to stay away from Brandon.
Brenda overhears and finds Carla to ask if she’s okay.
Group photo!
Brandon overhears Chick telling Jim that they’ve just opened a new factory in Mexicali (a city in Mexico). He says there’s a bit of a language barrier but:
“those people work hard and they work cheap”
Bleurgh, ‘those people’? Chick, no. Brandon gets on his high horse and starts going off about fair wages. Jim is furious.
Carla overhears and gets upset. She leaves, telling Brandon it was a mistake to come here. He starts after her but Anna tells him to let her go.
Brenda helps Brandon pack up the chairs. She tells him he’s been obnoxious this whole week. She says he doesn’t know what’s going on with Carla. YEAH, BRANDON, maybe her problems are more complicated than you understand.
Brenda says Richard was parked outside the whole time, and Carla got in his car when she left.
Brandon decides to find out what’s going on.
He asks Jim what the deal is. Jim says he can’t tell him. He tells Brandon to talk to Carla.
Brandon goes to Anna’s house but Carla isn’t there, and Anna says she’s not coming back. She’s not in trouble anymore and has gone back to her family. Anna says that Carla would want to see him again, to say goodbye.
Brandon goes to to see Carla, who is having a picnic in the park with her family. She tells him that she usually lives in Pomona (which is near Chino, shoutout to Ryan Atwood) and that she saw a shooting there. Richard is an attorney who was looking out for her, and Anna is her old babysitter. The guy who did the shooting confessed, so now it’s safe for Carla to go home.
“I have to go home now”
“Why?”
BECAUSE IT’S HER HOME, BRANDON.
** Insert sad breakup scene between the teens who knew each other for a week **
Donna is wearing the same jacket as Kelly, who SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER the item number in the catalogue. Damn it, Donna.
Dylan is ogling other girls again. BRENDA CAN SEE YOU, CUT IT OUT.
Andrea tells Brandon that his latest piece is his best yet.
Brandon says he wishes it could be the same with everyone as it is with Andrea. Easy, comfortable, real. I’M JUST GLAD WE’RE NOT ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER ROMANTICALLY. JUST FRIENDS. Ouch, why don’t you just punch her in the face.
David tries once again to get through to MC Hammer. He is speaking to Debbie Gibson though? She tells him he has the wrong number. Apparently he mixed up the numbers or something, I have no idea. He calls back and is like OMG DEBBIE GIBSON. What is even happening.
WELL. What an episode. Brandon is back on his white saviour bullshit, we saw some neon 90s fashion, and heard some excellent slang. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if this episode was entirely based around the title.
90s slang count:
king kahuna
wipe-out pants
baggies
trendoid
so rude (positive, re: clothes)
90s fashion moments: No big hats, but lots of colour this episode. Including whatever Donna is wearing here:
Unsolicited calls to celebrities: 4
Moments of Brandon getting mad at things that aren’t his business: TOO MANY